Homegrown Script

 Int: 2 Men around 22 -sat on a sofa smoking and listening to The prodigy, Jay is playing gta and Trim is next to him. Both glued to the tv.

they are talking somewhat slowly

Trim: Yeah man, you can curb boost here

Jay: What time am I on?

Trim: err. 4 hours 2 mins and 12 seconds. I say, you reckon your gonna speedrun the game to the end?

Jay: Yeah I've done it a shit ton of times, and it would of been more if I didn't keep on fucking resetting, but I wanna beat my best time.

Trim: Whats your fastest time?

Jay: Like just under 11 hours

Trim: Shit 

Jay: Yeah, but there was one time I was on like acid and shit and I'm pretty sure I did sub 10hrs but idk, I also met princess diana that night so fuck knows.  

Trim: Shit 

Jay: Yeah, she was pretty chill. 

Trim: Shit really?

Jay: Yeah, she was the people's princess. The only royal I respect and ever will respect. The rest of them are tax sucking twats. Like who gives them the fucking right to live in big castles and live in luxury all paid for by the working people, Just sitting on there thrown doin fuck all. Like yeah all pollitions are all the same, liars and just greedy, giving there mates back handers, but at the end of the day they actually have to do some fucking work with laws and shit and have to get voted in to do the job. but the royals just swan about fucking opening up hospitals and giving speechs that they didn't even write but were written by old posh twats who get paid more than doctors. 

Trim: Shit...you ever watched the crown?

For the first time jay looks up and over to trim, before quickly looking back to the game

Jay: Have you not been listening to what I've been saying? Why the fuck would I wanna watch that shit. Have you seen it 

Trim: yeah, it's okay. The last season is wank tho.

Jay: The amount of respect I've lost for you is fucking immeasurable. Ive not seen it and never will but I can ganrentte they all moan about how shit there life is and how isolated and lonely they feel and how shit there childhood was and how there mum and dad never fucking loved them and were never around cuz they were somewhere in fucking Africa in the back of a car just fucking waving to people, I bet they were laughing going 'I cant believe our ansters were responsible for colonizing, killing and enslaving millions of there people, yet they still come out in there thousands to get one glims of us driving past' It makes my blood fucking boil.  

Trim: Yeah but the crown did show how they were cunts to Diana and just fucked her over

Jay: Well atleast they got somet right. How did you watch it? on Amazon prime or somet shit?

Trim: Netflix I think

Jay: I don't fuck with any of that shit no more. Always putting stuff on and taking it off. and bullshit like you can watch season 2 and 3 of gavin and Stacey but not season one. or they've only got kill bill Vol 2. Whats the fucking point. physical media is where it's at. . Like in our lifetime they could just say forrest gump is offensive to retards and ban it off all the streaming sites, then what you gonna do?

Trim: Shit I don't known

Jay: Well I know what im gonna do, ill just put in my dvd, the full film as it was realised in the pictures, and nobody can take that away from me.

Trim: I love forest gump, but they wouldn't actually do that

Jay: Trim, there already fucking changing shit on Disney plus, getting rid of certain episodes and deleting scenes cuz there offensive to the fucking woke. That's why im slowly building my collection, loads of people give them away. and once you've bought it you've bought it. you've not gotta pay 3 different companies like 9quid a month. People will spend thousands over there life time on streaming sites to watch less and shitter stuff than me, wheres id of spent about £500 to make a huge collection and I actually get to keep it. What do you get when you cancel your Disney plus subscription? Fuck all 

Trim: Shit that's actually-

Jay interputs - Okay shut the fuck up now this bits hard.

They both stare at the beginning of a gta mission. Trim takes another drag

we hear 3 booming knocks at the door 

Trim: Who the fucks that?

Jay: Fuck knows - were closed 

Trim: What we doing

Jay: Just fucking leave it, they'll piss off 

We hear 3 more knocks 

Jay: Jesus christ i'm half way through a run

Trim: You don't think its copers do ya?

Jay: Narr, just put the weed anyway and look through the window. 

Trim packs things up from the table - opens up a window slightly and sprays some air fresher. and walks over to the window next to the door to look thrpugh the blinds 

Jay: (still playing gta) just be careful about looking 

Trim opens the blind slightly

Trim: Oh it's Des and Billie

Jay: What the fuck do these bummers want. 

3 more knocks are heard - louder than before

Jay: Just tell them to fuck off 

Trim opens the door - we see Des and Billie - they are slightly younger than jay and trim - they are both wearing shorts and band tshirts. Des has a black eye. Trim notices it straightaway 

Trim: What the fuck happened to you?

Billie: scrapping at the pub

Des: We need to talk to you

They both walk into the house before trim can say anything

Des: Aup Jay 

Jay: (Still not looking away from the tv) What the fuck do you cunts want. 

Billie: you playing gta 5?

Jay: Yeah, I'm doing a speed run and im trying to concentrate 

Billie: Oh sorry.

Des: (listening to that music) Is this Prodigy?

Jay: yeah, and it's THE prodigy you fucking idiot 

Des: I fucking love them, but you don't strike me as a THE prodigy sort of guy tho

Jays not paying attention to the conversation

Billie: What albums this from?

Trim:(who is now stood next to them both) The Fat of the land - were listening to the album 

Des: on CD, old skool, I like it 

Billie: Ive always thought invaders must die was there best album. 

Jay: Nar this is the shit (he leans over and turns up the music) Ive got all there albums on CD

Billie: Yeah folk don't listen to albums anymore, its all playlists on spotify now a days

Des: Yeah, theres a certain quality to an album with the art work, the songs themselves and how they go into each other and the setlist of the songs and why they put them in a certain order. And the overall themes from the album cant be explored in just one song. 

Jay: Yeah no shit, anyways were closed 

Trim: Yeah you know we don't sell after 8 

Jay: Ive gotta have some sort of work life balance - I know you smack heads and stoners are addicted as fuck but just buy off us before 8, it's not fucking hard. 

Billie: Were not here to buy 

Des: were here to sell

Jay: sorry we don't buy raffle tickets or sponsor people to run about in parks

Billie: no, we thought about that, but your literally the most uncharitable person I know. So we thought it would be better to sell you weed, with you already being in the business.

Trim: Where you getting it from?

Des: We've grown it 

Jay: Really, we are talking about weed, not just them plants just grow in your garden that you cant be bothered to cut 

Billie: No no the proper shit 

Des: We tried growing last year but it didn't go to plan did it 

Billie: No not exatly 

Trim: So how much we talking.

Des: Were looking at about 1.5 kg

Trim: You've been busy, how much you wanting then

Jay: Who says were buying off these anyways. We'll need a sample first 

Billie: Yeah that's fine, we can drop it round tomorrow 

Jay: yeah okay, but make sure its before fucking 8 okay.

Des: Yeah sorry about that, (getting closer to the tv stood behind jay who is still playing gta 5) Oh careful here these guys will get ya

(we see jay playing a misson where he is in a shoot out - shooting people constantly)

Jay: I know what im doin, I aint gonna fucking die

The song finshes and the next starts

Just at that moment Des pulls out a long bladed knife and sticks it into the back of jays head while hes still playing - Before Trim can react Billie pulls out his own knife and slits it across trims neck, he falls to the floor and bleeds out 

with the last seconds of his life jay manages to stand up and walk towards them both before collapsing to the floor next to trim both covered in blood.

Billie: Shall we have a go?

Des: What about finger prints?

Billie: Just take it with us?

Des: Okay

They both sit on the sofa and Billie carries on playing the game

Song kicks in - TITLE CARD 

Cut to Des and Billie stood at a small venue watching an intense punk band

the gig finishes and they both walk into the smoking area - and sit down and have a fag

Joe a long haired stoner dude comes over and asks for a light 

Joe: You got a light 

Billie: yeah man 

as he holds up a flame

Joe taking a hit

Joe: Cheers, what did u reckon to them

Des: Oh they were sick, I only knew like 5 songs but they were good

Joe: Yeah, Oh I love the tee

Des is wearing a prodigy t shirt 

Des: cheers mate, there fucking sick

Joe: Yeah man, ive seen em like 10 times 

Billie: Fucking ell - Did u come here by yourself?

Joe: Yeah (laughing) loner I know 

Des: Nar, ive been to gigs by myself 

Billie: I say we were just gonna go for a drink, you wanna come?

Cut to them all in a pub sat round a table drinking - lots of glasses on the table - they seem like they've been there a while and are all pretty drunk 

Joe is midway through a story

Joe: So were all out drinking, and we meet this group of girls and there with this gay guy and my friend invites them all back to his for drinks and shit, but when were walking to his place most of the girls are like oh its abit far were going home, us lads are abit annoyed but is was like 3 in the morning so its whatever. So only one girl and the gay guy comes back and were all talking and shit but the gay guy is just being weird and just not understanding the conversation, just a dumb cunt. Like we explained the toilets were down the stairs and were the only doors with out numbers on cuz it was a shared uni house, but he just couldn't wrap his head around it, one of us had to go down and show him. So he comes back up and I've got my cart. You know what a cart is?

Des: Like a vape with weed 

Joe: yeah, so were all smoking, laughing at shit and he's just confused like are you all laughing at me and were like no were all high, you laugh at shit when your high. Now I can sense he's got a weird vibe so I offer him some, just trying to be nice, break the tension, and were still talking and laughing. Then I see his expression change, he turns to his friend, the only other girl he came with, and goes, im sick off this, I feel like everyones laughing at me, ill show you sommet to laugh at, and just snaps my cart in two, and goes yeah laugh at that.

Billie: Jesus Christ 

Joe: Yeah, and he just sits there not saying anything, were all in shock and were stoned, and for what felt like 5 mins nobody spoke a word or even move, I was still processing it, im thinking this guy is mental. So I say why the fuck did you do that, and before he could answer by mate wraps his arm around his neck and starts choking him, and says get the fuck out and chucks him out the door, the girl doesn't know what to do so she just left with them.

Des: what a prick

Joe: yeah, and he left his passport, so what did we do. We used that shit as rolling papers. 

Billie: Fuck me, ive used some shit to roll with but never a passport.

Joe: (Laughing) You ever grown it?

Des: Weed? Narr, 

Joe: Ive done it before, you just find a bit of woods somewhere in the middle of nowhere and do it, piece of piss. I used to do it with this other guy but he got married and shit. and I haven't done it since, you cant do it with one guy.

Des and Billie look at each other 

Billie: Maybe we could help

Joe: really

Des: yeah why not

Joe: You seem like sound guys, yeah lets do it. And all equals, profits split 3 ways 

Billie: Yeah sounds good

Joe: First thing is we need to find a new location, you have to change every time, and we need to get a move on, need to plant on the first week of April.

Cut to: Des and Billie walking down the street after just saying bye to Joe at the bar.

Des: He's a crackhead inhe. 

Billie: Yeah man hes sound 

Des: So we down for this grow 

Billie: I don't see why not 

Des: I guess it makes sense 

Billie: course it does, Joes a sound guy, we make abit of money and get free weed. Homemade. 

Des: Well when you put it like that (laughing)

Cut to Joe -driving a van - listening to don't stop by bad nerves 

montage - driving and picking up Des and Billie one by one - laughing and talking 

Cut to them parking up and walking into a forest. Billie is the only one without wellies

Song fades out 

Billie: Fucking hell my shoes are muddy as fuck

Joe: I told you to bring wellies 

Billie: No you fucking didn't 

Joe: Oh, must of been Des then 

Des just stands there in his wellies

Des: So how many times you done a grow?

Joe: Like 3 times

Billie: Yeah?, and who do you sell it to?

Joe: Ive got a guy. Me and my old partner would keep some then sell the rest. he gives us a decent amount. Normally come away with 1200 quid each

Des: What about round here?

Joe: Yeah this looks good - just around here (pointing to the ground) 

Joe pulls out a joint and starts to light it 

Joe: Yeah, it's gonna be good. (looking at his phone) Oh shit it's 4:20 

He passes the joint to Des 

Joe: You know I always end up smoking at around 4:20, I don't plan it, it just happens. Its just around the time I finish work, I just chill and watch Animal planet or some shit. And do you know why the time 4:20 is so cernonimus with weed?

Des and Billie: No

Joe: It was a code that these 5 American highschoolers used in the 70's and they'd all meet up and smoke. There's also sommet to dp with a treasure map that leads to a weed crop but I cant remember. Hey you wanna go chill at mine?

Cut to 

inside Joes flat/house - its messy but not overly

they are all sat on the sofa watching a nature programm - all engrossed in the tv 

Billie: This shit is crazyyy

Des: You talking about the weed or the animals 

Billie: Both bro 

Billie: Its mad that like over millions of years the predator pray module has been perfected, If the pray are too easy to catch, the predator will just wipe out the species, but if there too hard to catch, then they aren't pray and the predator will die. Millions of years to achieve a perfect balance. 

Joe:...I told you this was good. You want owt to drink?

Des: you got any Nesquick? 

Joe: er yeah think so, just strawberry 

Des: Sounds lovely 

Billie: yeah 

We see quick shots of joe making 3 strawberry milk shakes - when he makes the 3rd he takes a big gulp

he then takes the two over the them sat on the sofa. 

Joe: Now doing a grow outside is pretty easy, you more or else just plant the seed and let it do itsfucking thing but you do need to check on it once in a while, and you gotta be smart about it, if you keep going at night it's suspouis, but night is the best time to go. Now with the spot weve got you can enter in different places, so don't always go up in the same place, don't always park up in the same place, don't always wear same thing, and you should wear black, but don't over do it, just dark clothing. And if you follow them rules were laughing.

Des: So what about the seeds?

Billie: Yeah you already got them?

Joe: No, that's the problem. If I had enough money id jump on a plane and go to Amsterdam and pick some up, but I cant afford that, dunno bout you guys?

Billie: Yeah not got 2 pennies to rub together.

Joe: Yeah in that case we'll have to buy some off someone.

Des: You know anybody? 

Joe: No, but ill ask about, ill let you know - There normally around £150, so your only invest will be 50? Is that okay?

Des: Yeah okay

Cut to

Billie is making beans on toast in the kitchen - stirring the beans on the hob watching coronation street 

Des enters the house, 

Des: How do 

Billie - orate?

Des: aye not bad 

Billie: you want some of this?

Des walks over and looks into the pan 

Des: yeah alright 

Billie: Just grate some cheese then

Des goes to the fridge gets the cheese and starts to grate

Des: How much am I doin? 

Billie: err..Fuck it and just do the rest of it. 

Des is grating 

Des: you heard anything from Joe 

Billie: No, you? 

Des: Nope 

Billie: He said we needed to plant in the first week of April

Des: I know, cutting it abit fine, its the 2nd today 

Billie: I know 

Cut to: Them both sat down at the table eating the beans on toast - piled with cheese - still watching corrie, its only quietly.

Billie: Maybe he's had second thoughts 

Des: Maybe, but hes probably just not managed to get any seeds

Billie: I Hope he does, need this money 

Des: I know I know, have you messaged him?

Billie: Yeah, no reply 

Des: Fuck knows 

Billie: Yeah. Oh by the way we've go no beans now or cheese 

Des: Ill pick some up tomorrow 

Someone loudly knocks at the door multiple times.

Des: Fucking hell. trying to break door down 

Des goes over and opens the door 

Its Joe - he is panicked and runs into the house after Des opens the door 

Joe: Ive been fucking ringing you 

Billie: We were just having our tea 

Joe: Very fucking cosy 

Des: Whats up?

Joe: Tho's fucking prick 

Billie: What?

Joe: They fucking set me up 

Billie: Who?

Joe: The guy who I was buying the seeds off. a friend of a friend told me about him. We agreed to meet in this car park.he comes over, I give him the money and he says there in his car, so he walks back over and then just drives off. 

Des: What the fuck?

Billie: What we gonna do?

Joe: I don't fucking know. I don't know anything about him, I barley saw his face. 

Des: What about the friend of a friend you know him. 

Joe: Yeah I'll speak to him. Oh fuck, I really needed them seeds. Look there's sommet I gotta tell you both. 

Des: What?

Joe: I followed the car, I don't think they saw me, but I know where they went, Come on we gotta go 

Billie: You what?

Joe: weve gotta go now before they leave

Des: what you just knock on the door and ask for it 

Joe: I don't know, we'll figure it out on the way. 

Billie: I don't know, its abit dodgy 

Joe: we cant afford not to. Come on 

Des and Billie look at each other 

They follow Joe out the door.

Cut to Joe driving his van fast 

Joe: I think I saw an open window, one of us can look out, other one distract and other one go in and get it. 

Billie: I'll look out 

Joe: Okay I'll distract and Des you go in 

Des: what the fuck, is this actually happening?

Joe: OKay its just up here. Come on Des. 

They both jump over a fence to get into the garden, They can see a few people in one room but the blind is shut - they are hiding. 

Joe points to an open window, 

Joe: OKay you go through there and be quick 

Joe opens up his pack back - pulls out some petrol and begins to cover the garden shed 

Des: (whispering) What the fuck, Joe.....Joe 

Joe gets a match and lights it up - boom - the whole shed is alight 

Joe: Okay go go ( he runs and jumps back over the fence) 

in a state of panic Des climbs in through the downstairs window, and hides behind a door - he hear the people in the house shout and race outside 

we follow des as he quicly runs up stairs, he slowly opens up a bedroom door - sees nobody is in and begins to looks around try to find something - he begins to panic even more, he looks under the bed and finds a bag full of cocaine - he looks at it and it looks back. He quickly picks it up  runs down stairs and out the front door and runs and gets into the van - it drives off an soon as he gets in. 

Joe: Did you get it? 

Des: (Still slightly out of breath) Not quite

Billie: whats in the bag? 

Des: I just grabbed what I could

Des opens up the bag to show billie and then Joe he looks over while hes driving 

Joe: What the fuck (he slams on the breaks and pulls over) 

Joe: Is that?

Des: I dunno try it

Joe tests the cocaine

Joe: shit, its real 

Billie: It's real

Des: Its real 

everyone shouts it real, very happy and excited