Stoners story


Driving in a car - Dan in the back - Jason in the font and Brodi in driving seat - parked in an empty car park 

 Dan: Well its gotta be lesbian innit

Jason: Fucking Lesbain?

Brodi: I haven't watched Lesbian since I was 13 

Dan: what the fuck you on about, Lesbian is the definitive answer. 

Jason: No its fucking not 

Dan: What do you mean, why you acting like I've said some random frog bdsm shit, Its fucking lesbian.  

Jason: Nar, like not to be sexiest, but if there's no dick there's no point, 

Brodi: Yeah, like the reason we watch porn is to, ya know fantasies about being in them situations. And your never gonna be in that situation, cuz if you were you'd want to get involved. 

Dan: I don't fantisie about it, just like watching it. Thats why its good, cuz ill never get to see it. A window into a world ill never experience

Jason: Narr, you know where its at. Armature. Amateur is the best hands down. I dont wanna watch some pornstar with fake tits and perfect body, borning, seen that a thousand times. 

Dan: what. you dont wanna see girls with perfect bodies?

Jason: No, cuz that's not real life. Watching that pro shit fucks with your mind. Unrealistic expectations. I dont wanna see a professinal having sex with about a crew of 7 people behind the camera, problaly on the 3rd shoot of the day, whats passionate about that? I wanna see the real armature shit. I wanna know nobody in the video is getting paid, i wanna know there shagging cuz they wanna shag, thats fucking passion and thats what gets the blood flowing. 

Dan: Yeah but its just like shit camera angles 

BrodiL You dont watch it for the angles, its not a fucking Hitchcock film,. 

Dan: But i wanna see what im wanking to tho. and yeah i like a bit of production, fucking shoot me for appreciating good editing and cinematography 

Brodi: You know what ive got into recently? Like retro shit. But you gotta work your way down tho,See the evolution of sex. but you cant go straight into some 1950's shit. You just watch abit of 90's then 80's, then 70's with loads of bush. there's some mental hippy orgy shit from the 60's like shot beautifully, just like 100 people all coming together as one. Then you go 50's which is where it's all like conservative, man and wife but you can go back to about like 1903 i think. That shits fucking mad. 

Dan: Thats fucking weird 

Jason: Yeah thats mental, but i'll check it out. 

Dan: yeah same, oh was that Lucy we just went past from school 

Jason: Who? 

Dan: Fucking Lucy sommet, Brodi she was in our sciene in year 11, went out with tyler in year 10. 

Brodi: Oh yeah. 

Dan: what was her surename? Lucy........Letby. Lucy Letby 

Brodi and Jason both laugh 

Jason: I dont think it was 

\Brodi: Fucking Lucy Letby 

Jason: Lucy Letby was that nurse who killed all them babies 

Dan: Never heard of her

Brodi: you've never heard of Lucy Letby?

Dan shakes his head 

Jason: Watch the news, keep up. 

Brodi: Yeah, you heard about us beating Germany at war? twice 

Dan: Fuck you, why would I wanna know about women killing kids

Jason: same reason as anybody, morbid curiosity. 

Time jump 

Dan: He's taking the piss now 

Brodi: That's fucking drug dealers for you 

Dan: He said hed be here 20 mins ago 

Jason: Hes only part time dealer tho, he's a farmer in he. Just making abit on the side 

Dan: He's probably shagging his fucking sheep, the dickhead. 

Brodi: (increasinly angry) Why the fuck would he wanna shag his sheep. He's busy enough dealing with shit on the farm. You know what time he wakes up? 5am, hes gotta do loads of shit. He's probably not got time to wipe his arse, cuz you know the government has fucked the farmers, Sam isnt fucking sheep, Hes getting fucked by the government. You never seen Clarkson's farm? So what he's abit late, pack it in with your sheep shagging comments, its not funny or original and you know what? who do you think is more likley to shag an animal? Sam who has sheep to feed them up and kill them, that he keeps in muddy fields or you and your fucking cockapoo who fucking sleeps in your bed and you take to the fucking dog groomers. I mean for fucks sake she's called Maisie. Ive had sex with a girl called masise. 

Dan: Why you gotta bring maisie into this?

Brodi: Its a fucking dog

Dan: Yeah shes still apart of the family 

Brodi: Fuck you, youve only got that dog through humans domesticating wolves and then selective breeding the fuckers. There fucking animals, its a fucking slave trade, buying, breeding and selling. 

Dan: Yeah but its like good slavery innit. 

Brodi: What?

Dan: What the fucks up with you 

Brodi: You going on about whens he getting there, whens he getting here, driving me up the fucking car wall. He gets here when he gets here. 

Dan: Fuck youj 

Brodi: Fuck YOU 

Jason: Bloody hell calm down. I can tell you two haven't done drugs in 24 hours, 

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